Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Need for an audience.

I love fiercely. It's evident.

But i also hurt enough never to let friends get too close. I am usually the patient listener and a sufficient thoughtful Devils advocate to others that i side with no one, yet try helping others draw more moralistic decisions. (also one of my life aims)
Yup, if you asked those who are closest to me about me? They wont know too much.

I'm 'an enigma wrapped in a mystery' to onlookers. Trust me.

Can you imagine what that means?
It means people i do open up to, i need them to hold on or be around. Because i too like all other people need to vent, reach out for advise, have someone around who i can confide in without giving two thought about repercussion.

I swear by friendly advise.

Someone told me to stop taking a certain medicine a while back, it helped cure my severe seasonal allergic asthma, but in place it had atrocious side effects in other areas. And i developed a severe dependency which gave me the ugly end of its side effects... Suicidal tendencies, loss of sexual drive, of hair, of appetite, or taste, constant mood swings, sharp abdominal pains amongst a few.

I have not touched it since. And I'm doing fine without it now.

No I'm not saying 'need' vs. 'want' or to 'use' someone sort of 'need such people'. I honor the words of people who have evidently loved me and have given me advise, especial from times when i have had nothing to offer back in return. For me that's the purest form of being thoughtful, being considerate and really thinking about another being other than yourself.

Selfless care.

Sometime you have no other choice than to trust your own instinct. Sometimes you have to face the circumstances and draw your own learning's for next time. But sometimes you have to take that risk and confide in another person....

Especial when it's not advised.

I did one such thing today evening. I opened up to a certain person i service. And thankfully, this person received my words kindly and from their experience gave me advise which was unexpected.

Feeling a sense of joy.

Especially for really putting myself out there. Such people are a rarity. Who will selflessly stand up for you, or be an audience to your earnest point of view some times, or care.

People don't care.

Not without ulterior motives. I let others exemplify everyday. I never pass on my problems, i stand by my own side, i don't discuss personal problems in any forums. (except state them like this in my blog!)

And in return I'm never earnestly asked 'how I'm doing'.

But since i empathize with my own situation and position, I put my good EQ to use and make sure i genuinely ask people how they are, what they have been up to, take active interest in lives of others (positively) even more so for people i like or love.

We all need an audience after all...

1 comment:

  1. We need to find you a boyfriend.
    Someone worthy of you and your deep thoughts!!
    Assholes come and go, don't ever idolise them!