Sunday, November 23, 2014


This existence can be engulfing.
So many distractions, so many directions, so many rights, so many hopes, so many thoughts, so much to live after all.
But that feeling continues to reside in us. Like a buzzing in your ears. You will often feel yourself drifting towards the wrong rights. A fit, but a little imperfect. It'll work, but it won't satisfy you. You will still dream of other dreams, and risk and calculate all the wrongs and the ways to make them right.
Until and unless you stumble upon that task, fulfilling which will not feel obligatory.
Alas there are going to be a lot of things that you'll like to do. That you do like to do. Like people, you'll meet plenty, you'll fall in love with enough of them too. But the thought of doing the same thing with them, day in and day out will never settle in your head. You'll know you want more. And when you've drained them of what you needed them for you'll move on. To another. Like another hobby, another task, another want, another something magnificent.
Unless you find it. And you have the courage to pursue it. So stop and wait for it. Have the urge to plan for the future with it. To plan around it.
But you'll be too caught up with life, and only in parts will you have that moment of clarity. When you'll see clearly in the direction you should be. Doing what you should be. But life will take over these moments, or unwanted people you feel important in that moment. And you'll overlook the purpose of your own individual existence. And be carried away enough maybe to satisfied being part of someone's dreams. Someone else's reality.
You'll feel too old, or too young or too tied down. And do everything but make time for your own thoughts.
You'll play along with stories not your own, eventually believing them to be your own truth. You'll forget the importance of your mere existence.
You'll play house, play employee, play friend, mother, a councilor and a traveler forgetting these were always secondary or were to remain secondary to your own purpose. Your true purpose.
Your only purpose.
And somewhere inside, you'll always wonder, why life will always feel incomplete.


  1. Oh it's ironical how I've just stumbled across this post of yours at exactly the most opportune time. You've described everything tp the very last thought. And though this post leans a bit on the despair side, I wish I do something about it . Well, I've always been the greater fool...let's see.

  2. Despite evoke the courage to be more optimistic about ones own story :)