Sunday, November 23, 2014

Purpose

This existence can be engulfing.
So many distractions, so many directions, so many rights, so many hopes, so many thoughts, so much to live after all.
But that feeling continues to reside in us. Like a buzzing in your ears. You will often feel yourself drifting towards the wrong rights. A fit, but a little imperfect. It'll work, but it won't satisfy you. You will still dream of other dreams, and risk and calculate all the wrongs and the ways to make them right.
Until and unless you stumble upon that task, fulfilling which will not feel obligatory.
Alas there are going to be a lot of things that you'll like to do. That you do like to do. Like people, you'll meet plenty, you'll fall in love with enough of them too. But the thought of doing the same thing with them, day in and day out will never settle in your head. You'll know you want more. And when you've drained them of what you needed them for you'll move on. To another. Like another hobby, another task, another want, another something magnificent.
Unless you find it. And you have the courage to pursue it. So stop and wait for it. Have the urge to plan for the future with it. To plan around it.
But you'll be too caught up with life, and only in parts will you have that moment of clarity. When you'll see clearly in the direction you should be. Doing what you should be. But life will take over these moments, or unwanted people you feel important in that moment. And you'll overlook the purpose of your own individual existence. And be carried away enough maybe to satisfied being part of someone's dreams. Someone else's reality.
You'll feel too old, or too young or too tied down. And do everything but make time for your own thoughts.
You'll play along with stories not your own, eventually believing them to be your own truth. You'll forget the importance of your mere existence.
You'll play house, play employee, play friend, mother, a councilor and a traveler forgetting these were always secondary or were to remain secondary to your own purpose. Your true purpose.
Your only purpose.
And somewhere inside, you'll always wonder, why life will always feel incomplete.

Friday, November 21, 2014

English: Poem attempt 2

You'll find paradise
Your one amongst many
You'll look for love
But you won't find any.
What's lost is lost
You can't build that dream again.
They've been trying to cut the cord
To where it all began.
They'll pretend not to see it
The wishes in your eyes
The longing of something old
Their longing for that morbid surprise.
To be jumped at from the corner
To see someone else walk past by
They will express their hate to you
Promising that only limit is the sky.
But you relive all those moments
Amongst their illusions of living in the present
You know they've been here before
And they know you're new to them
These memories from the closet
They express solely as yours
Are in fact stories,
That bleed them by the hours.
Over time as it passes
The feeling is not so strong
You think that you've won
They think its all gone
Until that moment comes when
You hit the peak of their desire
And within it you feel the presence
Of someone else fueling their fire.