We work jobs to earn money, which we wish to spend to survive, to satisfy cravings, needs, wants, basically to be happy.
Yes yes, many of us find that happiness in doing what we do, making careers out of what we like and turning them into monotonous skill sets to use them as on industrial production lines to satisfy someone else's goals and.. cravings, desires.
As an artist, I understand and thoroughly hate the idea of replication. A master piece is for life. Of the artist and those it has an impact on. But the 'robin hood' in me says, and constantly, what good is anything that cannot be shared with the masses? That cannot achieve the soul purpose of its existence? Which is to bring meaning to someone's life, or to make someone's life easier? Or better? Or to spread that message or feeling or desire?
When you come face to face with reality, where there are bills to be paid, a house to be run, we see ourselves frequently kill desire and go the distance to make ends meet. Even if the work one has to do can closely be classified as mine work. Never to ones choice, will, liking or comfort.
But what do you do when you have a choice? Will you or are you ready to struggle a bit? Live with less, if and only if it satisfies your inner craving of desire, existence and happiness?
Why should spending money be the end objective or means to remaining happy? What if you could do a little less, survive with a little less to do a little more of what you want, where the processes itself gives you happiness?
I'm faced with such a cross junction in life at the moment. I'm humble, proactive, build synergy around me by simply being me and enjoy, take pride rather in what I do. My work involves a lot of research, hard work, patience, thinking, rethinking, in one word 'heart'.
I've had bad days due to posity of time, due to acceptance of work that could have been done better, by being asked for crap just to wrap up things, by people who show half hearted interest in what they want, what they expect and what they accept.
No no, I'm no great artist to make such comment. No, not yet. But I will be, I can be with time. Time and space that currently my circumstances, age, frame of mind and talent put together allow.
I want to pick up that camera, think aloud, write a book, study a language, read more, paint. Everyday.
If practicality is an issue, that I should tell you I'm one of the most practical people you'll ever come across. This is no pre-life crisis. This is a realisation. An inkling, that somewhere, greatness is calling out to me. And I have to let go of monotony, of the ordinary and leap forward into tomorrow to be able to embrace it.
I hereby declare, I reconsider work, life and choices on Monday. I have much too much on my mind to fulfil. Not many may immediately understand, but not many were made for greatness, or made extraordinarily.
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